Joint Chiefs of Staff:
Aaron Starr, Internal Affairs - He brings almost nothing to the table except for the fact that he is really, really, ridiculously good looking. He was promoted for his pitch that EXO should be, 'At least three times bigger.'
Battlus, Internal Affairs - Batty batty banana fanna fo fatty. Also, #DicksOutForBattlus.
CRO VUK 56, Internal Affairs - Homo erectus, indeed.
Gunslinger, Navy - Praise be to Dave.
VelourCladMiner, Logistics - The founder of the ED Man-Rock Love Association, some question his relationship with asteroids.
Babitron - He rises fast, like a twelve year old's dick.
Brainator - Original BGS gangster, always researching new ways to dominate our space.
DrJekl - He was Jekl Jekl Hyde Jekl Hyde Hyde Jekl!
Jas19ILLINI - Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
John Wood VII - Basically a real life Groundskeeper Willie.
Ninjamatic21 - The greatest and best of the family physicians. May or may not prescribe you Marinol.
Orange Blitz - The latest beverage from the producers of Wolf Cola: the right cola for closure.
PureStankonia - We're all still trying to figure out if his gamertag was inspired by a smell.
Red Ryderr - Bruh.... man.... dude?
Squadron 1 Leader: Azrael Dirge - Mixed, PvE-Focused
Has an unhealthy interest in big guns, and big ships to attach his guns to.
iRusski, Strike Group 1 Alpha - Putin's puppet, he's actually the one who leaked the Clinton emails.
AtomicHopper, Strike Group 1 Bravo - You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
KLWBloodiamond, Strike Group 1 Charlie - I confess, I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.
Squadron 2 Leader: Pryapic - Mixed, PvP-Focused
Now any damsel that's in distress, be outta that dress when she meet... Pry....
HackJer3r, Strike Group 2 Bravo - We shall beat them about the face and neck and possibly the groin, until they are no longer consisting of life-pulse.
EMFDeathPenguin, Strike Group 2 Charlie - His eyes are cold enough to make the other penguins wish they had stocked up on thermal underwear.
Squadron 3 Leader: Stormy Stephen - PvE-Focused
Shit-poster and meme-smith. Doesn't like it when you pronounce it "steffen."
Xiluminati045X, Strike Group 3 Alpha -
PasteteDoeniel, Strike Group 3 Bravo - I'm the crazy German, that's all you need to know.
Fenris Fang AW, Strike Group 3 Charlie - What do now?
Squadron 1 Leader: Deejaysius
Grumpy, but not as grumpy as Grumpy. That would be too grumpy.
Capt_Boaz, Combat Engineers Alpha - Son of Rahab and Salmon, Boaz was a wealthy landowner of Bethlehem, and kinsman of Elimelech, Naomi's late husband. In marrying Ruth, Boaz revives Elimelech's lineage, and the patrimony is secured to Naomi's family. For those substituting, redeeming factors, Ruth's husband is considered by some Christians to be a type of Jesus.
Dr FunTimes PhD, Combat Engineers Bravo - Not the doctor of love, but a really Fun Time.
Mogul73, Combat Engineers Charlie - If there are no stupid questions, what kind of questions do stupid people ask?
Squadron 2 Leader: FierceChief101
BD Ping, Hoodrat Express - "I have no idea what I'm doing. Please help."
iModar, Space Truckers - The newspaper sage.
Match5t1ck, The Hatchbreakers - Of course I'm not going to be a pirate... I'm going to be a pirate KING!
Deep Exploration Recon Patrol:
Squadron 1 Leader: AngusHawk
Wears a tux in real life, a flight suit in the game, and uses a sextant in both. Also knows what a sextant is.
HurtPAINdeaD, Endeavor - There's an important difference between a highway man and a highwayman.
Draroth, Endurance - Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
Goopy Napkin, X-Cosmos - He'll plant his flag in your supple peak, if you know what he means.
Squadron 2 Leader: Hydrus
To boldly go where even the bold won't go.
TheZestyBerry, Pathfinder - Hakuna your ta-tas. It means calm your tits.
AWetWookie, Pioneer - And I thought they smelled bad on the outside....
LoHAV0KoL, Voyager - Anybody flying slower than me is an idiot, and anyone going faster than me is a maniac.