Joint Chiefs of Staff:
Battlus, Internal Affairs - Batty batty banana fanna fo fatty. Also, #DicksOutForBattlus.
CRO VUK 56, Internal Affairs - Homo erectus, indeed.
Esquisite, Internal Affairs - His zeal outweighs his spelling, which is still better than John Wood's.
Gunslinger, Navy - Praise be to Dave.
Hydrus, Exploration - To boldly go where even the bold won't go.
VelourCladMiner, Logistics - The founder of the ED Man-Rock Love Association, some question his relationship with asteroids.
Babitron - He rises fast, like a twelve year old's dick.
Brainator - Original BGS gangster, always researching new ways to dominate our space.
DrJekl - He was Jekl Jekl Hyde Jekl Hyde Hyde Jekl!
Jas19ILLINI - Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
John Wood VII - Basically a real life Groundskeeper Willie.
Ninjamatic21 - The greatest and best of the family physicians. May or may not prescribe you Marinol.
God Emperor Ryu - The latest beverage from the producers of Wolf Cola: the right cola for closure.
PureStankonia - We're all still trying to figure out if his gamertag was inspired by a smell.
Red Ryderr - Bruh.... man.... dude?
Squadron 1 Leader: Azrael Dirge - Mixed, PvE-Focused
Has an unhealthy interest in big guns, and big ships to attach his guns to.
x Kalma x, Strike Group 1 Alpha - It's a kalmamity!
AtomicHopper, Strike Group 1 Bravo - You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
KLWBloodiamond, Strike Group 1 Charlie - I confess, I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.
Squadron 2 Leader: Pryapic - Mixed, PvP-Focused
Now any damsel that's in distress, be outta that dress when she meet... Pry....
Nati045, Strike Group 2 Alpha - Oui, Marie, baguette bonsoir! FRENCH TOAST!
HackJer3r, Strike Group 2 Bravo - We shall beat them about the face and neck and possibly the groin, until they are no longer consisting of life-pulse.
EMFDeathPenguin, Strike Group 2 Charlie - His eyes are cold enough to make the other penguins wish they had stocked up on thermal underwear.
Squadron 3 Leader: Stormy Stephen - PvE-Focused
Shit-poster and meme-smith. Doesn't like it when you pronounce it "steffen."
PasteteDoeniel, Strike Group 3 Alpha - I'm the crazy German, that's all you need to know.
HMS ArchAngel, Strike Group 3 Bravo - I'm chopping all of my actions, and mostly power.
OutrightDragon, Strike Group 3 Charlie - What do now?
Squadron 1 Leader: Jmuldo83
Grumpy, but not as grumpy as Grumpy. That would be too grumpy.
Mogul73, Combat Engineers Alpha - If there are no stupid questions, what kind of questions do stupid people ask?
Xavier Merrick, Combat Engineers Bravo - Lawyers, guns, and money.... Dad, get me out of this!
ToKSiN, Combat Engineers Charlie - Rack, rack, rack, rack, rack ball!
Squadron 2 Leader: DrFunTimes
Not the doctor of love, but a really Fun Time.
iModar, Combat Engineers Delta - The newspaper sage.
Vexateus, Ravagers Dagaz - Swiggity swooty...
SweatyVelvet86, Ravagers Thurisaz - Of course I'm not going to be a pirate... I'm going to be a pirate KING!
Deep Exploration Recon Patrol:
Squadron 1 Leader: AngusHawk
Wears a tux in real life, a flight suit in the game, and uses a sextant in both. Also knows what a sextant is.
Awetwookie, Pioneer - And I thought they smelled bad on the outside....
AveryAverageGuy, Vanguard- Anybody flying slower than me is an idiot, and anyone going faster than me is a maniac.
KindaVanny98, Woomera - He'll plant his flag in your supple peak, if you know what he means.
Squadron 2 Leader: HurtPAINdeaD
There's an important difference between a highway man and a highwayman.
Slkj, Eärendil - Hakuna your ta-tas. It means calm your tits.
Ecmc007, Endeavor - Scuk my peins...
Draroth, X-Cosmos - Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.